Girl’s room
Two days ago I blogged about the BOY’S ROOM and how men should leave their rooms and build a house for his wife.
Now you might say the blog does not apply to me since I live in my mother-in-law’s house then we’ve got a BIGGER problem!!!!
Why am I an advocate for COUPLES to LEAVE their parents and CLEAVE together to start a NEW LIFE?
1. It is the Biblical way.
Gen. 2:23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
Gen. 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
2. It helps your Boy become a MAN.
Starting your own family could be one of the biggest challenges a man would face. It means he must learn how to work, budget, save, invest, pray, and lead. When you live in your parent’s house you rob yourself of a chance to lead.
Some people argue that living in their parent’s house would save them a large amount of money. Well that may be true but in exchange for what? – not growing as a man? I’d rather be poor for a season and learn become a man than to save a few pesos and remain a boy who can’t stand up on his own two feet.
3. The wife ain’t happy.
Your wife didn’t sign up for this. Married to you and your family. Give her a break. Living in your house makes her a slave to the real queen – your mother. She needs to be the queen of her own home. it might not be a big castle but ask her what she prefers – to be Rapunzel trapped in a lonely castle or Cinderella away from her stepmother and stepsisters?
Exception to the rule:
When can couple decide to stay in their parent’s house? I think the answer is simple. When parents of any ( man or wife) are incapable of living on their own ( sickness, old age, parent’s cant walk or stand) then I think it is just proper to take care of your parents and even let them live in your house. It would also be wise to talk to your spouse and agree upon the arrangement before making a major decision.
It would also be healthy to communicate to your parents that you are now a MAN and you make your own decisions. Them staying in your house means to have to follow the rules you and your spouse made. Same case with you staying in their house.
Another important note: If the setup adds a lot of unwanted stress to your spouse – I would highly reconsider the arrangment and make some major and drastic adjustments. ( my personal opinion)
5 Responses to “Girl’s room”
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About Me
Dennis Sy
- Senior Pastor
Dennis Sy is the Senior Pastor of Victory Greenhills. Husband to Thammie Sy, and father to two beautiful girls. A clueless church planter, a frustrated sociologist and an aspiring missiologist.
CHURCH PLANTING, LEADERSHIFT, and MISSIONAL LIVING
clueless ranking
yeah, thanks for the blog again. Blogged about this earlier after I read the Boy’s Room. Great, great!
“When you live in your parent’s house you rob yourself of a chance to lead.”
Good point, but I don’t entirely agree. You can still have that chance to lead,
but you just have to channel it into other means.You can negotiate things so you, your parents, and (hopefully) your spouse can achieve something or come into some sort of agreement or a middle ground. I guess it really depends on the situation, because every family is different. But it wouldn’t hurt sometimes to talk things over right?
(Assuming that you and your spouse have big pogi points with Mama and Papa. Ha ha, just kidding :-> )
“I’d rather be poor for a season and learn become a man than to save a few pesos and remain a boy who can’t stand up on his own two feet.”
- or you can learn the politics of family relationship.
I don’t like to look at it that way (not being able to stand on your own two feet). I mean, there’s nothing really wrong in wanting to save a few pesos. And if it requires a little sacrifice, then why not? I get your point that it is the husband and wife’s responsibility to find their own place, and raise their family. But at these rough times, I am sure that a lot of married couples out there, still cannot afford their own place. Families should help each other, and by help, I don’t mean that the husband and wife should be totally dependent on the parents. If that is the case, then, there is NO “real chance of being able to lead your family”. However, if both the couple and parents have an understanding of each of the responsibilities and roles of each party, then living in your parents’ house while you’re married, shouldn’t be
all that bad. Let’s just not hope it’s not gonna be forever
My last statement should have been “Let’s just hope it’s not gonna be forever”. Bloopers… He he
@Jules
thanks for your reply. Did have encounters were the man cannot financially support his fiancee and advised them to wait before diving into it rather than living in their parent’s home.
also with regards naman kung tinamaan yung asawa financially – i think ok lang naman to stay for a season ( hopefully not a long season) – so that the husband can find a job or additional source of income.
iba yung nakikitira atsaka yung titira. Yung nakikitira may limit ang haba.
hope you are enjoying the blogs